Love is All you Need

One of the things I lamented after we lost Fi was that I would never be able to tell her the greatest love story ever. The story of James and me. Truth be told, I was terrified to have daughter. There are so many scary things out there for girls. There are emotional issues, middle school friendships (ugh!) self-esteem, unrealistic body expectations from the media. It all scared me. How could I raise a strong young woman when I was still discovering my own confidence. One thing that never scared me, she would know how a man should treat a woman. She would have a great example of love and what she would be worthy of.
     James and I met through my step sister. the first night we meant, we talked about books. Lots and lots of books. He listed a series he thought I would like on a napkin, wrote his phone number below and said to call if I ever wanted to borrow a book. (Nerd alert!) I was seeing someone at the time, so I never called. We saw each other a couple of times, but six months later I found myself single. After a few texts and some coy remarks, James FINALLY asked me to dinner. My thought was, "what the heck! Worst case, a free meal."
    Look, we had both kissed a lot of frogs. We had both been through some difficult relationships, we went in to this knowing that there was a slim chance we would hit it off. I had a list. Lots of girls my age had them. You know, that list of criteria guys should meet before you date them, such as; college degree, taller than me, blue eyes, non-smoker, a pulse. Just to name a few. Anyways, James met some criteria on my list, but honestly, he didn't meet most of list. But hey, my list was producing terrible relationships.... Ones that were on the verge of emotional abuse. What did I discover? I was missing a few things on my list. I never once thought of the characteristics that made a gentleman. What I found out was, James is just that. A chivalrous gentleman.
  Our first date was typical but extraordinary at the same time. We had dinner. When we finished, James asked to walk we home. I lived about two blocks from the restaurant, but he wanted to make sure I made it safe. I invited him up for a drink and movie. He accepted and was a total gentleman. When he left, he didn't even kiss me goodnight! Not because he didn't want to, but because he didn't want to rush things.
   The beginnings of our relationship was sprinkled with roses, love notes and little gifts. Nothing fancy, just special. I had never felt so special.
    Our love story is a sequence of simple, yet extraordinary acts of love. Proposal in my pjs! Wedding at a brewery, holding my hand and loving me through the worst days of my life.

   As we were coming home from a family weekend last night I realized that Fi never got to hear our love story, but she's part of it. She is one of the fixed points in our story. In some relationships, the death of the child is a fork in their relationship. One person going one way the other taking a different road. Fi is a reinforcer in our love line. She helped us to come closer, show compassion and love deeper.
   Some things happened this weekend that normally would have resulted in a petty argument. Instead of placing blame or arguing or saying "I told you so." We were able to look at one another with compassion, understanding and some good team problem solving!
  Obviously Fi knows our love story, but I can't thank her enough for showing us just how deep our love is and how much deeper it can go.  When life is overwhelming and things seem insurmountable. Breath.
Love is all you need

PS- friends and family please know that your love is extrodinary too! Thank you for holding us up in prayer and thoughts.